Are You Lying To Yourself?

At my church, last weekend’s ser­mon was on the impor­tance of truth, and it’s still on my mind.

The Bible sure has a lot to say on the impor­tance of know­ing the truth and being truth­ful.  Jesus even referred to him­self as the truth.  Here are a few verses on this topic that I like:

There­fore each of you must put off false­hood and speak truth­fully to his neigh­bor, for we are all mem­bers of one body.

- Eph­esians 4:25

Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.

- John 8:32

A false wit­ness will per­ish, and who­ever lis­tens to him will be destroyed for­ever.

- Proverbs 21:28

Your favorites might be dif­fer­ent than mine, but I’m cer­tain that they too will sup­port the main idea — the truth helps us to a bet­ter life with God; lies and lying do just the oppo­site.

Our pas­tor talked about how ordi­nary lying is in every­day life and gave a few exam­ples.  Some instances dealt with seri­ous issues and oth­ers less so, but I could see that in each instance the lie kept the indi­vid­ual from chang­ing for the bet­ter.

“What is the most com­mon lie?” I won­dered as he spoke.

Who knows for sure, but I think the sin­gle most com­mon lie is “I’m fine.”  You know what I mean.  Some­one asks, “How are you?” and you say “fine.”  Don’t lie.

Okay, per­haps it’s not a lie for you.  If not you’re either at a great place right now in life, or you’re prob­a­bly not like most peo­ple, because I don’t think that most peo­ple are “fine” most of the time.

Most of us have prob­lems, seri­ous prob­lems — phys­i­cal ill­nesses, addic­tions, emo­tional strug­gles, mar­i­tal dis­cord, finan­cial insuf­fi­ciency, job stress, and par­ent­ing chal­lenges are some exam­ples.  That’s life.

I’ve faced some of these prob­lems in my life and I’m sure more will be com­ing along all too soon, hope­fully not all at once.  When they do I will not be fine.  I may be con­fused, sad, hurt, scared, lonely or a host of other things but I won’t be fine.

And I’ll try not to lie about it either.  If you ask, “How are you?” I’ll tell you how I’m feel­ing for real.  If you don’t want to know, don’t ask me.

It’s not easy for us to be hon­est and truth­ful about our trou­bles, but I’ve learned it’s the only way I can get the help I need to get bet­ter.  Many peo­ple would rather just answer “fine.”

Too embar­rassed to dis­close their prob­lems to oth­ers, maybe even to them­selves, they lie.  And the lying keeps them trapped.  As the proverb above sug­gests, their sit­u­a­tions often go from bad to worse until the truth can finally set them free.

So let me ask, “How are you?”  Be hon­est with your­self.  If you have a lifestyle ill­ness, you’re not fine.  If you’re anx­ious and wor­ried all of the time, you’re not fine.

Ditto if you’re stressed and angry.  If you’re fight­ing with your spouse, you’re not fine.  If you’re drift­ing through life with­out a pur­pose, you’re not fine.

Relax.  It’s okay not to be fine.  The truth will set you free. If you can con­front a painful truth about your­self, you can begin to get bet­ter.  It can be done.  Peo­ple all around you are fac­ing the pain and improv­ing their lives.  I’ve done it too.  Sure it hurts, but it’s the first step on the road to free­dom.

Take the first step.  You can do it!